This is a blog about the discovery of a bisexual spouse. My name is Dr. Karen Winterle and I am a psychotherapist relocated to south west Florida to start a new private practice. I have experience working with the discovery of a bisexual spouse, the healing process onto recovery. A client, Mary shares her story so that other woman can know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Mary experiences the discovery of a bisexual spouse after 14 years of marriage. She was hysterical and felt helpless as to what to do to handle discovery of a bisexual spouse and this horrific trauma. I asked her if she had confronted him. He said he refused to talk about it and walked away. Mary began to share her story about what was happening in her marriage. She said he asked to go away on a motorcycle vacation with another couple without her. They had always vacationed together. Then she found a strip of condoms hidden in his shoe in the closet. Her tubes were tied and he had a vasectomy. Mary shared that her spouse, Jake, had begun to change about five months ago. Then she shared his style of kissing and making love had changed. Clues of an affair, ménage a trois or bisexuality were indicated. I shared that upon discovery of a bisexual spouse it is important not to jump to conclusions. He may not be acting on his bisexuality. And the discovery of a bisexual spouse does not mean the marriage is over.
What other clues can I look for to help me with the discovery of a bisexual spouse?
ReplyDeleteFirst, and of great importance, is the following statement: If you suspect he is bisexual or a ménage a trois, trust your gut. Your intuition is telling you something is different is known as "gaydar". This is your intuitive ability to assess other's sexual orientation. Gaydar relies on non-verbal clues, which can include sensitivity to social behaviors and mannerisms. For example, gaydar notices a person's body language or tone of voice when speaking, his rejection of gender roles and grooming habits.
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